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Worst NFL Holiday Gift Ever

Detroit Lions

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#1 San Jose Bills Fan

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:56 PM

Many of us remember a recent season ticket renewal reminder sent out by the Bills which featured a photo of Brian Moorman punting out of his own end zone in an unfortunately unforgettable 6-3 loss to the Cleveland Browns.

Speaking of the Browns, less than two weeks ago at the 11th hour, they cancelled a "White Flag Event" in which every customer through the turnstile would be given a white flag to wave during the home game against the Steelers. Yes, the white flag, the universal sign of surrender. While the giveaway was cancelled, team execs had initially signed off on the idea, and actually ordered and purchased the tens of thousands of flags. Presumably they'll be sold in some 3rd world country as shop rags or some such purpose.

Not to be outdone, perhaps the only franchise more inept than the Bills and Browns, the Detroit Lions just made available the worst NFL Calendar ever produced:

1. Titus Young is on the cover. Yes, Young, the second-year receiver who was just ordered to go home and not come back for repeated insubordination, is the person the makers of this calendar thought Lions fans would want on the cover. Not Matthew Stafford or Calvin Johnson.

Titus Young. Really.

2. Open the calendar to the first month, and whose picture do you see to go along with January? Aaron Berry. The cornerback who was arrested twice during the offseason and cut by the Lions in July.

3. Other months have pictures of receiver Nate Burleson (whose future in Detroit is in doubt after a season-ending leg injury), defensive end Kyle Vanden Bosch (who’s 34 years old and not playing up to his contract and looks like a potential cap casualty), and running back Jahvid Best (whose repeated concussions call into question whether he’ll ever play again). Those are definitely the guys Lions fans are going to want to be thinking about in 2013.

4. The company selling the calendar boasts that it contains information about the Lions’ “Super Bowl History and more.” One problem: The Lions have never been to the Super Bowl. Apparently the Super Bowl history section will be devoted to the Super Bowls the Lions didn’t play in (all of them) or maybe the Super Bowls that were played on the Lions’ home field. (Did you know that Jerome Bettis is from Detroit? The people who made this calendar probably didn’t.)

5. The calendar includes the 2012 schedule. Very helpful in 2013."

http://profootballta...iday-gift-ever/

So yes, for Bills fans it could actually be worse.

Edited by San Jose Bills Fan, 05 December 2012 - 07:01 PM.


#2 Bangarang

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:30 PM

I look forward to the Bills calender with Maybin on the cover and headlined by Aaron Williams, Justin Rodgers, Chris Kelsay and Kelvin Sheppard.

Of course the calender won't need the months of January and February since those don't exist for this team.

It will sell dozens.

Edited by Bangarang, 05 December 2012 - 07:31 PM.


#3 Graybeard

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:32 PM

You clearly have too much time on your hands, but this is an awesome post!

#4 mrags

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:48 PM

Now I know what to get you for X-Mas. Thanks.

#5 marauderswr80

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:01 PM

Man im sending this to my buddy hes a die hard lions fan! This is going to ruin his christmas!

#6 bobobonators

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:04 PM

View PostSan Jose Bills Fan, on 05 December 2012 - 06:56 PM, said:

Many of us remember a recent season ticket renewal reminder sent out by the Bills which featured a photo of Brian Moorman punting out of his own end zone in an unfortunately unforgettable 6-3 loss to the Cleveland Browns.

Speaking of the Browns, less than two weeks ago at the 11th hour, they cancelled a "White Flag Event" in which every customer through the turnstile would be given a white flag to wave during the home game against the Steelers. Yes, the white flag, the universal sign of surrender. While the giveaway was cancelled, team execs had initially signed off on the idea, and actually ordered and purchased the tens of thousands of flags. Presumably they'll be sold in some 3rd world country as shop rags or some such purpose.

Not to be outdone, perhaps the only franchise more inept than the Bills and Browns, the Detroit Lions just made available the worst NFL Calendar ever produced:

1. Titus Young is on the cover. Yes, Young, the second-year receiver who was just ordered to go home and not come back for repeated insubordination, is the person the makers of this calendar thought Lions fans would want on the cover. Not Matthew Stafford or Calvin Johnson.

Titus Young. Really.

2. Open the calendar to the first month, and whose picture do you see to go along with January? Aaron Berry. The cornerback who was arrested twice during the offseason and cut by the Lions in July.

3. Other months have pictures of receiver Nate Burleson (whose future in Detroit is in doubt after a season-ending leg injury), defensive end Kyle Vanden Bosch (who’s 34 years old and not playing up to his contract and looks like a potential cap casualty), and running back Jahvid Best (whose repeated concussions call into question whether he’ll ever play again). Those are definitely the guys Lions fans are going to want to be thinking about in 2013.

4. The company selling the calendar boasts that it contains information about the Lions’ “Super Bowl History and more.” One problem: The Lions have never been to the Super Bowl. Apparently the Super Bowl history section will be devoted to the Super Bowls the Lions didn’t play in (all of them) or maybe the Super Bowls that were played on the Lions’ home field. (Did you know that Jerome Bettis is from Detroit? The people who made this calendar probably didn’t.)

5. The calendar includes the 2012 schedule. Very helpful in 2013."

http://profootballta...iday-gift-ever/

So yes, for Bills fans it could actually be worse.

lmfao

#7 Captain Hindsight

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:07 PM

I remember a few Bills calanders that had similar things. Guys who got cut where in November

#8 San Jose Bills Fan

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:23 PM

Of the 5 points spelled out in the story, I'm trying to figure out which one is the funniest.

#9 Nitro

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:34 PM

Great post.  The Lions are a terminal mess.

#10 San Jose Bills Fan

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:39 PM

View PostNitro, on 05 December 2012 - 10:34 PM, said:

The Lions are a terminal mess.

It really makes you wonder.

Is it total incompetence or is it incredible cheapskatedness?

I think it's safe to say that the thing was produced well ahead of time. But even if you give the Lions that excuse, there's no excuse for having a section on the "Lions' Super Bowl history" when they've never been to the Super Bowl.

And why would they include the 2012 schedule in a 2013 Calendar?

Someone named Ford rubber stamped this. I'm sure there must have been people in the organization who said "we can't put this out there" but those people were overruled by someone who said, "ah what the hell does it matter?"

A total organizational fail.

#11 DDD

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Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:25 PM

View PostBangarang, on 05 December 2012 - 07:30 PM, said:

I look forward to the Bills calender with Maybin on the cover and headlined by Aaron Williams, Justin Rodgers, Chris Kelsay and Kelvin Sheppard.

Of course the calender won't need the months of January and February since those don't exist for this team.

It will sell dozens.

:lol:

#12 mrags

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:51 AM

View PostSan Jose Bills Fan, on 05 December 2012 - 10:39 PM, said:



It really makes you wonder.

Is it total incompetence or is it incredible cheapskatedness?

I think it's safe to say that the thing was produced well ahead of time. But even if you give the Lions that excuse, there's no excuse for having a section on the "Lions' Super Bowl history" when they've never been to the Super Bowl.

And why would they include the 2012 schedule in a 2013 Calendar?

Someone named Ford rubber stamped this. I'm sure there must have been people in the organization who said "we can't put this out there" but those people were overruled by someone who said, "ah what the hell does it matter?"

A total organizational fail.
Im still buying it for you for X-Mas. Your not getting out of this

Edited by mrags, 06 December 2012 - 12:51 AM.


#13 San Jose Bills Fan

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 01:02 AM

View Postmrags, on 06 December 2012 - 12:51 AM, said:

Im still buying it for you for X-Mas. Your not getting out of this

Well then I'll have to send you that unopened box of Flutie Flakes.

I know how much you love him.

#14 mrags

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 01:18 AM

View PostSan Jose Bills Fan, on 06 December 2012 - 01:02 AM, said:



Well then I'll have to send you that unopened box of Flutie Flakes.

I know how much you love him.
thats just wrong. On every level.

#15 Jon in Pasadena

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:21 AM

Yeah Detroit sure produces some real buffoonery. Thank goodness the Bills have an owner from.... umm, well, uh never mind.

#16 ExiledInIllinois

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 03:28 AM

View PostJon in Pasadena, on 06 December 2012 - 02:21 AM, said:

Yeah Detroit sure produces some real buffoonery. Thank goodness the Bills have an owner from.... umm, well, uh never mind.

Where?  Grosse Pointe Shores?  ;-)



#17 The Wiz

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 08:14 AM

Looks like I know what I'm getting for my secret santa gift for my Lions fan coworker.

#18 BillsWest

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 06:20 PM

I know what my worst NFL gift was...after watching my younger brother open a Buffalo Bills rain poncho, I was excited to open mine.  That is until I opened it and found it to be red in color, turned it around and it was a 49er poncho!!!  What was my mom thinking??  By the way, that was about 40 years ago.

#19 todzilla

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 07:18 PM

A few years back Tops had some Bills bobble heads for sale.  My dad got me a Coy Wire and Drew Bledsoe...except he actually bought 2 Coy Wire's.    I still have them on a shelf, makes me laugh everytime I see them.

#20 BringBackFergy

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 07:22 PM

View Postmrags, on 06 December 2012 - 12:51 AM, said:

Im still buying it for you for X-Mas. Your not getting out of this
That calendar is the gift that keeps on giving...the whole year through.

Throw in a Whammy and a pack of Christie's Kickers and SanJose will be a happy boy.

View PostSan Jose Bills Fan, on 05 December 2012 - 06:56 PM, said:

Many of us remember a recent season ticket renewal reminder sent out by the Bills which featured a photo of Brian Moorman punting out of his own end zone in an unfortunately unforgettable 6-3 loss to the Cleveland Browns.

Speaking of the Browns, less than two weeks ago at the 11th hour, they cancelled a "White Flag Event" in which every customer through the turnstile would be given a white flag to wave during the home game against the Steelers. Yes, the white flag, the universal sign of surrender. While the giveaway was cancelled, team execs had initially signed off on the idea, and actually ordered and purchased the tens of thousands of flags. Presumably they'll be sold in some 3rd world country as shop rags or some such purpose.

Not to be outdone, perhaps the only franchise more inept than the Bills and Browns, the Detroit Lions just made available the worst NFL Calendar ever produced:

1. Titus Young is on the cover. Yes, Young, the second-year receiver who was just ordered to go home and not come back for repeated insubordination, is the person the makers of this calendar thought Lions fans would want on the cover. Not Matthew Stafford or Calvin Johnson.

Titus Young. Really.

2. Open the calendar to the first month, and whose picture do you see to go along with January? Aaron Berry. The cornerback who was arrested twice during the offseason and cut by the Lions in July.

3. Other months have pictures of receiver Nate Burleson (whose future in Detroit is in doubt after a season-ending leg injury), defensive end Kyle Vanden Bosch (who’s 34 years old and not playing up to his contract and looks like a potential cap casualty), and running back Jahvid Best (whose repeated concussions call into question whether he’ll ever play again). Those are definitely the guys Lions fans are going to want to be thinking about in 2013.

4. The company selling the calendar boasts that it contains information about the Lions’ “Super Bowl History and more.” One problem: The Lions have never been to the Super Bowl. Apparently the Super Bowl history section will be devoted to the Super Bowls the Lions didn’t play in (all of them) or maybe the Super Bowls that were played on the Lions’ home field. (Did you know that Jerome Bettis is from Detroit? The people who made this calendar probably didn’t.)

5. The calendar includes the 2012 schedule. Very helpful in 2013."

http://profootballta...iday-gift-ever/

So yes, for Bills fans it could actually be worse.
This is amazing. I feel like our organization is elite now. Brightens my day.