39 replies to this topic

[MDFan]

http://www.torontosu...es-of-tragedies
Have not seen this posted.  Good article on the Toronto Sun today discussing the struggles Dareus has had this year and his turnaround the past few games.  I think it puts a little perspective on his performance this year vs. last and why those who are calling him a "bust" may be a bit pre-mature in their judgement of this young man.

[UConn James]

I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo.

I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies.

But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box.

T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily.

[Cash]

Very good piece.  I continue to be a huge fan of Dareus.

[smuvtalker]

UConn James, on 12 December 2012 - 10:53 AM, said:

I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo.

I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies.

But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box.

T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily.

I understand the point you make, he still has a job to do.  However, we can't say how we would react to such a tragic loss unless it happens to us, which I wouldn't wish upon anyone.  He lost his kid brother.  Everyone deals with tragedy differently, and let's not forget this is a 23 year old kid we're talking about.  I think it speaks volumes to his character that he was able to "shake it off", so to speak, and get back into the game.   I think he's dealt with it rather well for what it's worth.

[HamSandwhich]

UConn James, on 12 December 2012 - 10:53 AM, said:

I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo.

I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies.

But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box.

T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily.

Everyone is not T'eo, everyone handles it in their own way.  Obviously it took Derius a little longer, but he's come around lately.  Get off his back would ya?

[NoSaint]

UConn James, on 12 December 2012 - 10:53 AM, said:

I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo.

I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies.

But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box.

T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily.

and again, he put the weight on months before the loss, which i think has been the biggest issue this year.

it also sounds like after a couple weeks dealing with this hes making big positive changes to the issues that surrounded him even BEFORE the death. switching where he goes, who he is with, and not taking time for granted.

Edited by NoSaint, 12 December 2012 - 11:17 AM.

[Wooderson]

UConn James, on 12 December 2012 - 10:53 AM, said:

I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo.

I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies.

But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box.

T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily.

You can't just tell a person how to grieve.  Different people handle things differently.  Football may be his job, but it's still just that, a job.  Having a brother pass away unexpectedly has to be extremely difficult to cope with.

Also, look at Geno Atkins.  3rd year in the league and he's looking like a legitimate DPOY candidate.  Dareus is still very young, give him a little time.

[fan_in_tx]

UConn James, on 12 December 2012 - 10:53 AM, said:

I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo.

I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies.

But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box.

T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily.

Really?? You use this analogy?
"But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box."

Let's keep this in perspective and not compare the mindset of our soldiers who's job is to readlly give their life in a moments notice to an NFL Football player who's job is to play a game.

I can easily understand if MD questioned the importance of what he is doing and maybe lost a bit of the taste for football after all he has been through regardless of the money he makes.  And if he was in the military, knowing that people are really counting on him for life changing events then he may have delt with his grief in a manner that would satisfy your expectations.    For me.. I'm glad he is back and playing, but I feel your comparision above is a little much for someone who's job is to play a game.

[C.Biscuit97]

UConn James, on 12 December 2012 - 10:53 AM, said:

I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo.

I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies.

But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box.

T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily.

Who the hell are you to tell someone how to grieve?  You had little brother murdered?  I hate people who try and tell other people how to live their lives.  What a bunch of BS your post is.

Wooderson, on 12 December 2012 - 11:12 AM, said:

You can't just tell a person how to grieve.  Different people handle things differently.  Football may be his job, but it's still just that, a job.  Having a brother pass away unexpectedly has to be extremely difficult to cope with.

Also, look at Geno Atkins.  3rd year in the league and he's looking like a legitimate DPOY candidate.  Dareus is still very young, give him a little time.

You don't get it.  He's a football player and gets paid millions.  He needs to be a robot and perform no matter what because people pay money to see him.  When he doesn't, I will insult him through a message board.

[Ryan L Billz]

UConn James, on 12 December 2012 - 10:53 AM, said:

I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo.

I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies.

But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box.

T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily.

  are you a psychiatrist?

[RyanC883]

Very nice to see a piece written about how MD was and is dealing with his most recent tragedy   He seems to have had more than his share of it.  Hopefully he is getting professional counseling in addition to figuring it out himself.  His play has gotten better in the past few weeks for sure, and it appears that his mindset has as well.  Hope both continue their upward trend!  Go MD!!

[GaryPinC]

UConn James, on 12 December 2012 - 10:53 AM, said:

I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo.

I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies.

But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box.

T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily.

Are you kidding me?  Did you read the entire article?   Dad dead at 6.  Grandmother who helped raise him, dead @13.  Father figure high school coach dead in car crash @ 18.  Mom wheelchair bound and dead of congestive heart failure @20.  Younger brother Simeon who he helped mentor and was close to, dead this year.

Dareus has been afraid to leave his house other than to go play football.  And you blithely think he should be able to wall all this off and pour everything into his job?  It's one thing when a close relative dies, it's another when your life is full of those scenarios.

Dareus is pretty much a hero in my book being able to do so well for himself in spite of how he grew up.  And it explains his early season performances.  Ever wonder why the Buffalo News never seems to be able to get a story like this?    

[C.Biscuit97]

GaryPinC, on 12 December 2012 - 02:46 PM, said:

Are you kidding me?  Did you read the entire article?   Dad dead at 6.  Grandmother who helped raise him, dead @13.  Father figure high school coach dead in car crash @ 18.  Mom wheelchair bound and dead of congestive heart failure @20.  Younger brother Simeon who he helped mentor and was close to, dead this year.

Dareus has been afraid to leave his house other than to go play football.  And you blithely think he should be able to wall all this off and pour everything into his job?  It's one thing when a close relative dies, it's another when your life is full of those scenarios.

Dareus is pretty much a hero in my book being able to do so well for himself in spite of how he grew up.  And it explains his early season performances.  Ever wonder why the Buffalo News never seems to be able to get a story like this?

Actually, I remember a Buffalo News article about Dareus right after he got drafted talking about his hard life.  When the News had Allen Wilson, they were very good.  Mark Gaughan is also very good.

Also, let's not come down to hard on the OP.  Life at UConn can be very tough.  Sometimes your parents won't give you the keys to the Range for a weekend.  tough times.

[Ryan L Billz]

C.Biscuit97, on 12 December 2012 - 03:13 PM, said:

Actually, I remember a Buffalo News article about Dareus right after he got drafted talking about his hard life.  When the News had Allen Wilson, they were very good.  Mark Gaughan is also very good.

Also, let's not come down to hard on the OP.  Life at UConn can be very tough.  Sometimes your parents won't give you the keys to the Range for a weekend.  tough times.

zingaaaaaaa!   the freaking range!

[AKA Bigdog]

I doubt anyone called Dareus a bust.  I expressed my displeasure that the bills earned another bad break with a player who sucked the first half of the year.  I said the same about mario millions.  

I don't think either guy stinks its just that this half assed steaming pile of fail can't afford anymore players who take games off if this sorry ass team ever expects to play respectable football.

99.9% of all the criticism of the bills is frustration over 13 years of the biggest display of ineptitude by any team in the nfl besides the expansion bucs teams.  

At least they had an excuse.

Edited by AKA Bigdog, 12 December 2012 - 04:25 PM.

[Shoutbox]

UConn James, on 12 December 2012 - 10:53 AM, said:

I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo.

I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies.

But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box.

T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily.

You, sir, are a leading candidate for the 2012 Two Bills Drive Internet Tough Guy Award. Good luck, dude!

Edited by Marc Miller, 12 December 2012 - 06:16 PM.

[3rdand12]

I just read today and i had know idea how he was taking all this.
No one knows what he has gone through but him.
Football and the team might be the best thing for him.
I saw him smiling last week.
Anything but sympathy for the young man, is shortsighted.
I am fan of his as a human being and then of course a big ole DT.
Go get 'em Marcell Dareus .

[C.Biscuit97]

3rdand12, on 12 December 2012 - 07:01 PM, said:

I just read today and i had know idea how he was taking all this.
No one knows what he has gone through but him.
Football and the team might be the best thing for him.
I saw him smiling last week.
Anything but sympathy for the young man, is shortsighted.
I am fan of his as a human being and then of course a big ole DT.
Go get 'em Marcell Dareus .

Well said.

[Erik]

UConn James, on 12 December 2012 - 10:53 AM, said:

I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo.

I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies.

But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box.

T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily.

Whoops

[MURTR]

UConn James, on 12 December 2012 - 10:53 AM, said:

I'm just going to say that MD could learn a few things from Mantai T'eo.

I get that you can be sad after a close relative dies.

But that doesn't mean you let it affect your job so negatively. It's like when a soldier goes to war, the term is that to a large degree, they have to put their personal life in a box.

T'eo handled his grief constructively and in a way it seems to have actually helped his game, because it was a vent for his emotions. It doesn't seem like MD was (and maybe, is) coping healthily.

.................(crickets)